I had a friend ask me on the weekend if the pain is getting any less. I had to think about it for a moment before answering, as I hadn't thought to put an "average" on the pain. It turns out that the answer was "no". It still hurts just as much. His response was to give me a hug, because there was nothing to say. I really appreciated that :)
But his question stuck in my head for the rest of the day, and I realised that while the pain isn't any less, perhaps I could say it is less constant. As the weeks pass, my thoughts more easily dwell on other things. And for that I am grateful. It means that I actually feel happy at times! But when I do think of all that has happened...it hurts just the same.
I'm grateful to realise that I can actually be happy, even with such acute pain in my life. So, to the friend who asked me that question...thank you.
(By the way, this does not mean I want everyone to ask me if the pain is less!! More often than not, a simple "how are you going today?" and "how is your hubby going?" are the best questions)