Every now and then, I stop and realise how much life has changed since the end of January. The grief is still with me, it still hurts just the same, but I can think about it less. It's not at the forefront of my mind all the time. And that is nice. People sometimes say to me that I should think about what Ariella would want for me.
Would she want me to keep going with life? Yes.
Would she want me to get up and go out, even though it's hard? Of course.
But would she want me to take care of myself, taking time out when needed? Absolutely.
There are still some things that I find incredibly hard. And to be honest, some of them are things that "should" be easy. But I'm ok with not being ok. It's only been five months. In the scheme of things, that's not that long. Not when my baby's died.
Five months today, baby girl.
This post is dedicated to baby Corbin. He shares the same birthday as Ariella, and
joined her in Heaven two and a half days later. Very loved and very missed.