Saturday, November 2, 2013

CarlyMarie, thank you

Most (all?) of you would know that I have been doing the Capture Your Grief (CYG) project in October. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, and a lovely lady named CarlyMarie orgnaised the CYG project. So many people took place all over the world, and many did so by sharing their photos in a Facebook event that had been set up. As you can imagine, the topic of pregnancy and infant loss and the related photos bring up a lot of emotions in almost everybody. Bereaved parents feel pride in being able to share their children with the world and their friends and family can gain insight into what it is like to be a baby-loss parent.

Unfortunately, for some people, the photos that were shared were "offensive". After 30 days of sharing and healing, some nasty comments were made in the Facebook event, and some photos were even reported. In order to stop the trolls and the negativity, Facebook deleted some of the photos. About an hour later, the entire event got closed down. For something that was created to be a time of healing, some immense hurt has been caused. It has not affected me directly, but I was both angered and saddened to see the impact that the words of some careless people have had.

As I mentioned above, CYG was organised by CarlyMarie. She does so much more for the baby loss community than just the CYG once a year. The artwork that she does has brought comfort to many families all around the world, as they see their precious children acknowledged. 

Carly, the community of SANDS Parents wants to thank you for all your hard work in helping to break the silence surrounding child loss. Here are the words of just a few of us:

From Tiona at 'In Loving Memory of Cash'

I took part in CYG and it was a really insightful project, I learnt a lot about myself and answered questions that I never imagined I could. I have also commissioned several of Carly's pieces in honour of my son, Cash. I support her 100% in everything she does for the baby loss community

I loved the CYG project as it gave me a chance to remember my 'happy' memories with my angel. It gave me a chance to connect with all of you and get to know your angels too. It has been a great journey to undertake and I thank Carly for organising this event.

I loved the project because it made me feel that my tiny baby mattered. My baby stood for more than just an "early pregnancy loss". CYG gave meaning to my baby's life and to our loss.

Carly - Never stop doing what you are doing. You are the voice for so many that are afraid to speak. Your work is incredible and we are all blessed to have you doing what you do. Keep on keeping on.

October was a difficult month, as it marked the time my daughter had been gone longer than she was here. But the CYG photos gave me something to focus on, and it was while taking my picture for that significant day that I realised I was smiling and laughing. Thank you for organising a project that allowed me to connect more deeply with the mums in SANDS and showed me just how far I had come in nine months.

Carly - I can't put it into words what your work means to me. What you do for our community is invaluable and so important. Don't let the haters put you down!! Keep up your wonderful work.

Carly - I don't know you but you hold a very special place in my heart. The beautiful sunset photo in honour of our little Lillian will always be treasured. Thank you X

Thanks Carly for empowering me with the knowledge and tools to confront my grief over the loss of my son and start healing. This month has made an enormous impact on my state of mind and lifted the darkness replacing it with hope. Your web site was the first place where I felt safe to grieve Jacob without guilt, I have many of your beautiful photos surrounding me at home. We are strong together, don't let a group of people hiding behind a computer get you down. xxxx

I have loved doing this project and am a little sad it has come to an end. It has been wonderful to have something to focus on each day, guide creative and thought provoking conversations with my husband (who contributed to my photo ideas and helped at different stages). I love sharing my life and loved ones through photos and this was a wonderful way to do that for Hayley. Some days were hard, some days healing but all helpful. I am so glad I did it. I would like to say thank you to Carly for this creative outlet and remind her there was so much more positive than negative.

When I first saw this project my whole being recoiled and screamed no, I can't - I won't do this. Then it became a challenge, but as all could see I was not able to be creative, but had to follow form and structure. With a definite theme to respond to each day, it allowed me to question myself, to work through an aspect of grief each day. I'm so grateful to Carly for setting up this project project; I do believe the project and thereby she started me off on working through the grief and taking a step towards healing. It wasn't easy, but very much worthwhile. I am certain many benefited greatly.


Carly Marie said...

Larissa, I am so thankful right now. The outpouring of love that has come from this terrible circumstance has been amazing, I am so glad that you felt strong enough to take part in this project. It is amazing since you are so new to this walk. I am so grateful that you have found comfort, support and friendship at SANDS. They are a wonderful organization. I wish you well on your journey of healing.

Tiona, I remember writing Cash's name in the sand :) I would like to say that I remember writing everyone's babies names but sadly there are just too many, but Cash's name, I remember. I remember my husband mentioning how cool he thought your son's name was :) I am so glad you found the project insightful. Thank you so much for taking the time to send me your love :)

Dani, I hope you are able to focus on your happy memories with you darling. I believe it is those memories that you hold in your heart that will help you to get through this journey. Thank you so much for taking part this year :)

Annika, your baby does matter. I am so thankful that you know this truth. Wishing you much love and healing for this road you are walking.

Leisa and Karin, I cannot thank you enough for your encouragement. It just means the word to me and it helps me to keep on going. Wishing you both much love and many blessings always.

Oh Kellie, I wish I could thank you in person and give you a giant hug. Thank yo so much for supporting my work. It is because of people like you that I am able to keep creating. I am so happy you like your precious daughter's sunset :)

Raquel, grieving without guilt. I wish that for every bereaved parent. It is such a hard thing to overcome guilt. I am so thankful that this month has brought you so many positive changes. May you always find a a way to find the lightness :) Thank you so much for sending your love to me.

Kara, I am so touched that your husband took a part in this project with you. I love hearing about the dads and their experiences. Thank you for reminding me of the positives. The positives completely outweighed the negative. Even with 50,000 negative comments this community has exploded with love and compassion. It has been amazing to watch it all unfold. Wishing you much love as your grieve for your Hayley.

Lana, thank you for your honesty. I cannot tell you how much I value peoples honesty. I am so thankful that even though this was a hard project for you that you were able to take part and found that it did help you. I wish you gentle times always as you walk this road of grief and healing.

Larissa said...

Love to you Carly <3

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