Sunday, December 29, 2013

Simply Surviving

I realised the other day that I have only written one blog post for the month of December. That wasn't my intention at all, and a few factors have played into that.

Firstly, I literally couldn't write posts in my computer. For some unknown reason, all I could do was write a title but no text! I tried various things and nothing would fix it...only to realise after a couple of weeks that I have a Blogger app on my phone (how I'm writing this, so please excuse any formatting errors!) or I can use my husband's computer as it still works on there. 

Secondly, there was Christmas. I had promises a couple of people that I would write a post about how to help us at Christmas, but I couldn't find the words. I was so appreciative of the friends who asked what we wanted and those who mentioned Ariella in cards, gifts or messages. How gorgeous are these presents we were given?


I had decided at the start of December to find the joy in Christmas, even without my baby girl. We put up the tree, bought gifts and made some plans. I even joined a carols choir at church to try to force myself out of my rather small comfort zone. But by the time Christmas arrived, I struggled. A lot. Christmas morning was perhaps the most difficult morning in months, but the day got better and ended up ok. I spent it with my husband and we had a picnic lunch at the beach before a quiet night at home. It helped that he had three days off work, as I always feel better when he is around. 

The third reason I haven't written much this month is perhaps the most important. I feel like all my energy has been put into simply surviving. January is going to be huge - a baby's birth and Ariella's anniversary and birthday. These last few weeks of pregnancy have been so draining, and I'm not yet at my due date. Which means there are more draining days ahead. By the time I've made it through another day of being pregnant, I don't have the energy left for much else, including writing. And plus, what is there to say? I'm still pregnant, I'm still holding my breath, I'm still missing our sweet Ariella.

6 comments:

Alyce @ Blossom Heart Quilts said...

I am glad you haven't forced yourself to write when the words aren't there. I miss Ariella too.

Stephanie Erdman said...

I'm glad you said something! I was getting fretful over your absence! Praying the next few weeks go well for you!

Sarah said...

I'm glad you had a calm Christmas and that Marcus was around for you. I completely understand the "waiting for January" feeling. I remember a couple of weeks before Evie's diagnosis anniversary I had such a hard time focusing on anything. And then again for her birthday. I'm proud of you for being easy on yourself. Praying for you as you anticipate January. <3

Larissa said...

I know you do <3

Larissa said...

Sorry to worry you!

Larissa said...

It's strange how looming dates can just take over everything...

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