Saturday, October 5, 2013

Capture Your Grief: Days 1-5


I took this photo at 6:50am, so I did miss the actual sunrise. However, I love that I missed it, as I had actually slept well that night and didn't wake up in time! Given that I haven't been sleeping well lately, I was more than happy to sacrifice a sunrise photo for a good sleep.


Ariella: lioness of God.
Jade: precious gem; my own middle name.
Born: Wednesday, January 30, 2013, at 9am after around 20 hours of labour.
Weight: 3125g (6lb 14oz)
Length: 54cm (21.25in)
Features: deep blue eyes; brown wavy hair; long fingers and toes.
Our much loved daughter.


While I have never heard the exact statement in the photo, I have heard similar sentiments. They hurt to hear and they aren't true. A subsequent pregnancy does not take away the sadness of our daughter's death. We rejoice over this baby while still grieving the death of our first. This baby will never replace Ariella. If your spouse died, I doubt you would like people telling you "you can always remarry, and then you'll be happy." The same goes for a subsequent pregnancy. I wrote a poem based on this photo, which can be found here.


I wasn't sure what photo to take for this day.What is my daughter's legacy? Does she have one? I thought about the friendships that have developed since Ariella's death, but I didn't have any photos with those lovely ladies. And then I thought about this blog. I write to honour her memory. In particular, I thought of my A-Z guide on helping bereaved parents. This is her legacy. It's by far my most read, shared and pinned post and I am grateful. I feel very passionate about teaching people know how best to help grieving parents, because it's such an important topic.


I have so many memories from pregnancy and the days we spent with Ariella. One of my favourites happened frequently. Ariella would make my bump move all directions at once. Even though I knew how she was positioned, sometime I couldn't figure out how she was managing to move opposite parts of the bump. I used to say that we were clearly going to have a starfish for a child, as no ordinary baby could reach all the spots she could. When she was born, she seemed long. Once measured, we discovered she was 54cm long (about 4cm longer than average). Suddenly her movements made sense. Ariella will always be my starfish baby.


It'll be a bit quiet on this blog as of tomorrow, because I will be away for a week long holiday! Ahh, I feel relaxed just thinking about it. A week away with my hubby, visiting a dear friend and catching up with some family. Life will get a whole lot busier on our return, thanks to a change in hubby's job, so this holiday has perfect timing. I'll be posting my daily photos on my Facebook page if you want to keep up to date with them. Otherwise, I'll blog about them on my return.

Bon voyage!


Kerlie McGerser said...

Lovely, Larissa. You have such a wonderful way with words; beautiful, poetic and written in a way that anyone can relate to. I feel like we're doing this project together, in a way. Enjoy your holiday! <3

Larissa said...

Thank you Kerlie. I have loved seeing your photos too! I had a wonderful time away, will post an update soon!

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