A heavy heart

I feel the need to write today, but I don't know what to say. I wrote out a post and then deleted it. My heart is heavy. Today, more than ever, I feel the sadness of life. I'm grieving not only my own child's death, but the losses my friends have faced too. I want to write something that might give someone hope, and the optimistic part of me wants to write something cheerful, and to pretend that I'm ok.

But I'm not. I hate seeing friends go through the worst kind of loss. I hate knowing I can't make it better. I hate that so many parents have to say goodbye to their precious children before they can say hello, or too soon afterwards. 

I looked through my photos, trying to find one to post, and God brought this one to my attention. It's a photo my husband took at Port Arthur, Tasmania. Port Arthur was a convict prison, but now it's one of the biggest tourist attractions in Tasmaina. What was a place of misery, grief and pain is now a picturesque location that people flock to visit. It is truly a beautiful place, even though it has a history of pain. 

Baby loss mummas, I think God brought this photo to my attention so that you could see it too. Just like Port Arthur, the ex-prison, is now a place of beauty, He wants you to know that He can bring beauty out of your pain. You just have to let Him. It's not easy, and it will never remove, replace or negate your (my) pain; your baby left too soon, and that is tragic. But maybe one day, we'll see beauty.