Rainbow Baby: Update

About eight weeks ago, I shared the news that our second baby is on the way. Understandably, I've had a lot of questions from a lot of people...mostly the same questions! So I thought I'd update you all on how things are going, and hopefully answer those commonly asked questions!

Q: How are you going?
A: I am doing pretty well. The morning sickness eased quite a few weeks ago and only occasionally rears its head now. An easier pregnancy sickness-wise was one of our main prayers, and we're very grateful that God has answered that prayer.

Q: How far along are you?
A: I am halfway through this pregnancy now! And yes, it is going quickly.

Q: Is everything going alright with the baby? Can you feel kicks yet?
A: Yes. Things are going pretty much perfectly! I've felt kicks for weeks now and it's such a nice feeling. The scans we've had show a perfectly formed little person - ten fingers, ten toes, and a beating heart. 

Q: Is it a boy or a girl and do you have names picked?
A: We have some names picked, but won't be telling anyone what they are until this baby is born. In terms of this baby's gender, we aren't finding out. But it seems the general consensus is that it is a boy - I think my 2 year old niece is the only one to have guessed girl so far!

Q: Do you have extra medical care this time?
A: I am seeing the same midwife I saw throughout Ariella's pregnancy. She was absolutely lovely, and this pregnancy is low-risk, so I am able to have midwife care instead of seeing a doctor the whole way. I'm so grateful for this! It's nice not to have to be at the hospital for frequent appointments (or any appointments really, since my midwife comes to our home for appointments). It's also nice to know that every appointment will be with someone who knows about Ariella and was with us throughout her pregnancy, birth and the weeks afterward.

I've saved the most common question for last.

Q: Are you nervous or anxious?
A: I have to admit this is a fair question, but the answer may surprise you: no, I am no more nervous or anxious than I was at this stage with Ariella's pregnancy. That might seem crazy to you - after all, my first pregnancy ended with an unexplained, full term stillbirth. Surely I must be worried it will happen again! And initially, I was. After all, my one and only experience with being pregnant ended in stillbirth; it was all I knew. I mentioned earlier that one of our main prayers had been that I would not be as sick this pregnancy as last time. The other major prayer was that we would be calm, not anxious, and able to enjoy this pregnancy. God has well and truly answered those prayers. I am not nervous that this baby will die; in fact, I fully anticipate bringing home a living baby in January. 

One of my favourite Bible verses is this:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This pregnancy is teaching me the truth of those words. For month now, we have been presenting our requests [for a healthy baby and non-anxious parents] to God, and He's been answering. I cannot explain the peace that I feel, it certainly does transcend all understanding. As I said earlier, I fully anticipate bringing home a living baby in January.

So there you have it - an update on this pregnancy and my emotional state. I hope I've answered all your questions, but if you have any others, please leave a comment here and I'll answer them in a future post.

For better or worse

"Larissa, do you here in the presence of God and these witnesses declare your commitment to Marcus and choose him as the one with whom you wish to spend your life? Do you take him to be your husband, to love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"

When I was asked this on my wedding day, the answer was a resounding YES. It still is. But I think back to that day, and how happy we were. Did we really know what we were saying when we declared that we would love each other for better for worse?? That the worst time would strike only 13 months after that wonderful day? That it would drag on and on and on, as the roller-coaster of grief that started on January 28 just does not stop?

I don't have my daughter with me. But I'm so glad to have my husband, for better for worse.

Overwhelmed by Love

I have a confession to make. I was dreading Mothers Day, not because my Ariella isn't with me, but because I was scared that people wouldn't acknowledge me and my little girl. Looking back now, I don't know why I was worried. My friends and family are amazing. I should have known that they would be there for me.

I was tossing up whether to name this post overwhelmed by love or I should have known. Both are true, but I decided to go for the first one. Soon after Ariella's birth, I said on Facebook that I was overwhelmed by love, as it seemed the best way to express how loved, cared for and prayed for that I felt in those difficult days. And I feel the exact same way now. Flowers, cards, gifts, messages, emails - friends went out of their way to let me know that they were thinking of me, that I wasn't alone, and that they missed my Ariella too. Among other things, I received a key-ring with her name on it (there's something very special about seeing her name) and a couple of lion-related things (her name means lioness of God). I have a cold, so smells are a bit dulled at the moment. Even so, my lounge room smells amazing from the flowers people gave me. (Some were anonymous, so I don't know who to thank. If it was you...thank you!)

To all my friends and family who thought of me yesterday, thank you. I don't think I can adequately express how much it meant to me. I truly am overwhelmed by love.

A gift from a dear friend: "Ariella Jade, Forever Loved"

Adelaide Baby Wearers

Long before I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to "wear" my baby. I remember trying a Baby Bjorn once, and it was SO uncomfortable (I have since found out that they aren't the best for babies either). My sister bought an Ergo and a friend bought a Manduca, so I knew there were better options out there. While I was pregnant, I bought a Manduca from the lovely Rachel at Owl Baby. I also found and joined a lovely group on Facebook: Adelaide Baby Wearers (ABW).

ABW is a wonderful community of parents who "wear" their children - either with structured carriers like the Ergo or Manduca, or with wraps that are specially made to be strong enough to carry children safely. Throughout my pregnancy, they kindly answered my questions about different carriers, and one mumma even gave me a stretchy wrap, which is perfect for a newborn. 

After Ariella was born, I let the group know what had happened. I didn't expect anything from them, and I almost didn't even say anything. I only knew these people from online (except for a few people I knew from outside ABW), so I wasn't sure if it would be odd for me to say something. But I thought about their support and advice during pregnancy, and thought that I should tell them. So I did. 

The response was amazing. This wonderful community pulled together to support us, and we were truly blown away by all they did. We had meals dropped at our door, and then received a message to tell us the meals were there. It was so considerate - they wanted to help but not intrude. Someone even collected meals from a number of people and filled a bag for us, so we received a bunch of meals at once - all of which were pre-frozen for us. We also received a package that had a whole range of things in it, and I want to share two of them. I don't know who in the group contributed to the things we received, but I do know two of the women who contributed: 

There are two mums in ABW that make jewellery/clothing from scraps of woven wraps. Amy at Woven Wrap Creations and Courtney at Miss Evie. I received a beautiful necklace from Amy, and some earrings and a ring from Courtney. Aren't they beautiful?

(The 'Ariella Jade' necklace was also an ABW gift. I wear it everyday.)

If you ever want some unique clothing for a little person in your life or some jewellery, please check out Amy and Courtney's Facebook pages. I've never met these two women, and yet they each gave me something to let me know that they were thinking of me. It was very generous of them, and I'd love it if people were to support them too. 

And if you live in or near Adelaide, and are interested in wearing your baby, join ABW on Facebook. They are a lovely bunch of people, and I am very grateful for them.