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I feel like I don't have a lot to write about lately. I've started posts but never finished them, I've even opened up new posts and not written anything. It's as though life has settled into a non-blogworthy (totally a word!) routine. Each week seems the same now, it's as though I have reached an even greater level of the "normal" that I wrote about back in March. Except there's one thing - no matter how normal my life seems, there's always something lurking in the mind and heart. Sometimes it's pushed to the back and at others moments it's so much at the front that I can't see past. I miss her.
I go to church each Sunday. I go to work during the week. I might catch up with friends. I can smile. I can laugh. When I meet new people, there's no way that they'll know just by looking or observing me that something is always so, so wrong. I miss her.
I never knew I could miss someone so much until I met my baby girl. I never knew I could live with such an ache in my heart. I wish I had something more to say. Something that might encourage you, or point you towards the reason I can continue (Jesus and a relationship with Him). But today I've got nothing. Just I miss her.
4 comments:
I understand ... the initial depth of loss and painful memories fade into just plain missing. Sadness for the little girl who will never physically be a part of your family. I'm so sorry. <3
Thank you Sarah.
I know what you mean about life being non-blogworthy (and totally a word!), I'm feeling a little the same. And I think we'll forever be living with that balance of forefront vs back of our minds with our daughters. I think it's something we'll have to figure out how fold into our news lives. <3
Glad you think it's a word ;)
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